Somewhere right up there is the Pope's apartment. RIP JPII.
If I thought I could have gotten away with it, and not gone straight to Hell, I would have ripped this baby down and shoved it in my backpack:
Moving on, I have to say, I just wanted to go to Venice for the sheer novelty of it, but once we got there, I didn't want to leave. People say, "It's sinking, it's dirty, it stinks." I say, "Shut up, shut up, shut up - all of you." It was absolutely magical, and I will fight to the death anyone who says otherwise. Please observe this:
And this:And here again with the stealing and the threat of Hell. Except this time I wanted the street sign, too.
Finally, Florence was beautiful, but not exactly what I expected. I was thinking more "A Room with a View," like this:
Which half of the city does look like. But Florence is a "city" in every sense of the word, and it was the only place we were accosted by gypsy children, which was very upsetting and irritating at the same time. I saw them coming with their cardboard, and I just started swinging my arms wildly around me, and yelled, "No! No! No!" as I cut threw them like a band saw. They moved on to some other poor saps. T-Bone was mortified. That said, he must have felt really great later on when I nearly had to throw down with this OBNOXIOUS bitch from New York who was making a huge scene at the Uffizi because a museum worker didn't speak English. Imagine that?! In a FOREIGN country, a local didn't speak Ugly American.
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