I hate shopping. I have to really REALLY be in the mood before I can even think about going. And on the rare occasion I am in the mood and actually need something, I can pretty much guarantee I won't find anything. So I should have known better when, after I got my hair cut today, I had a slight hankering for a shopping excursion. Could I have gone straight home and enjoyed the afternoon with my family? Sure. But I would rather be humiliated, frustrated, and completely ignored. So I went to the mall.
I unknowingly walked right into the belly of the beast because Nordstrom was having a huge ass sale, which started today, so every W.A.M.* in town was there, furiously combing through the racks, looking for the latest and greatest in boho chic and animal prints. Yikes. I got the hell right out of there and hit the usual chain stores. What with my GD high school reunion coming up, I thought I might get something new. Something that makes me look 10 years younger and 30 pounds lighter. They make that, right?
No. No, they don't. Today's little adventure was a complete and utter failure. THREE times I grabbed a few things to try on in different stores and got so frustrated and worn out by all the looking and the asking for big girl sizes that I put it all back and took off. I went into two stores where I was the only person in the place who didn't work there, and the salespeople didn't even acknowledge me. Sweetie - you're working at a store in the mall. You're not curing cancer. Lose the attitude.
And here's a question: Where have all the short sleeve T-shirts gone? And don't try to fool me with those GD cap sleeve pieces of shit. Those are NOT short sleeves. Those cut across the meatiest part of my arm and make me want to tear my limbs off, so go ahead and shove those right up your size 0 ass. Seriously. When did this happen? I just want some cute, throwdown T-shirts that don't have stupid, ironic sayings on them, and all I can find are baby tees I couldn't, and wouldn't, put on my children.
I did however find a pair of pants that I will probably be wearing the next time you see me as they are my new go-to uniform. Bless you, J.Jill, whoever you are.
And lest you think I've been totally neglecting my children this past week while working on my Trip posts, here's a little conversation from this morning, around 6 am:
Olive: Mommy! Wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeup!
LT: I'm awake.
Olive: No. Your eyes are not open, and you are not out of the bed.
LT: Busted.
Peach: (still half-asleep) Olive! It's not a competition.(?)
* West Austin Mom = uber Republican Soccer Mom
2 comments:
Well, maybe we are twins...because I also got my hair cut today. However, I like me some shopping, I have to say.
I went to Academy yesterday thinking SURELY they had some practical shorts and t-shirts. Shorts? Yes. T-shirts? Cap sleeves. Unless of course you are shopping in the men's department.
Post a Comment