May 30, 2008

White or Wheat?

As an aficionado of raspas, I can tell you the best places to indulge throughout the city. Same with breakfast tacos. That said, I've noticed a number of "new" trailers/food carts cropping up all over town, and I am terribly intrigued by the whole movement. Alongside the myriad taco wagons and snowcone stands, you can find a variety of fare that you might not have ever considered purchasing from a place on wheels. Sure, maybe the coffee place isn't that out there (or tasteful), but how about the cupcake place (which is great, BTW)? Or the Vietnamese sandwich place? Or, my favorite, the crepe place, around the corner from GGMS? Really!

Who'd thunk it? Not me, but how can I get in on it? Me, who doesn't really cook, per se? Or own a trailer (yet)? I've racked my brain, and I think I've come up with a fabulou$ idea that is easy, cheap, and, most important, easy. Ready? TOAST. Brilliant, I know. See, I'm going to convert this old horse trailer I've seen abandoned down the street, throw in a couple of bigass toasters from the restaurant supply place, buy a truckful of bread from Costco (you didn't think I was going to actually bake it, did you?), find a shady (fingers crossed!) spot in that holy roller church parking lot over there, call the thing Toast of the Town, and just sit back and count my money. I can't lose!

But, unfortunately, my Spurs did lose last night. Not quite ready to talk about it yet, other than to say Go EAST Go.

May 28, 2008

Wrapping Up

How is it the end of May already? I would swear it's still January if I weren't in danger of heatstroke every friggin' time I go outside for five seconds. So. Hot.

Thursday was Olive's last day of school, and it was very bittersweet. We had planned on keeping her at the same precious preschool for two more years, through Kindergarten, like we did with Peach, but we decided it would be better to move her to GGMS next year so she and Peach can be together longer, ideally four years instead of two. Olive has had such a great first school experience at the precious preschool, but I know she will lose her mind when she gets around all those Montessori materials. I've taken her for a couple of pre-visits already, and she can't stop talking about all the puzzles and blocks and maps they have at her "new school." And honestly, GGMS is probably a better "fit" for our family anyway. I think, no, I know, I scare some people over there at the precious preschool, what with my very limited knowledge of the country club scene and my refusal to drag my children to 40 bajillion birthday parties just to say we did it. So as much as we loved our teachers and the overall environment of the precious preschool, as for the rest of that crap, they can have it.

I spent the better part of Friday at THREE doctor's offices. Count 'em. Stop one was to set up some dental surgery for Olive (yeah, more on that later), stop two was at the eye doctor so I could try on a new contact that I will never wear but had to at least try on just so the doc would let loose my new prescription so I can order my contacts online instead of being gouged at her office. Hurdle cleared. Stop three was my long-awaited visit to the orthopedic specialist for my gimpy shoulder, so imagine my surprise (not really) when he told me the x-rays of my gimpy shoulder and stiff neck showed absolutely NOTHING. I almost started crying, right there in the office of this dude who is probably several years younger than me and who seemed like he was listening and taking me seriously but now probably thinks that I am just faking for attention or prescription meds or both or that I am flat out psycho. I gathered myself and politely refused his offers of injections in my rotator cuff and more useless PT and said that I would prefer an MRI just to make sure we're not missing something. He seemed to think that that was reasonable, so we'll see. I told him the whole GD mess is like the electrical problem in your car: I never know, day to day, how it's going to be, when it's going to "work" or when I will spend the day wishing for a hacksaw and the promise of sweet relief. I will say, however, that as I was filling out 9,000 new patient forms, I realized, once again, how lucky I am to be able to check NO to pretty much every medical history question they can throw at me. Besides glasses, two berfs, and the occasional migraine, I am a lucky girl. So, silver lining and all that.

We spent the weekend in and around the ol' homestead, dodging the quick showers that passed through here and there. We got in two trips to the pool, some homemade ice cream AND homemade chocolate chip cookies, and a shitload of Jon and Kate Plus 8. It was awesome. I've begun The Packing for our (now) annual trek to Colorado next week, and I am so excited to pull out some long sleeve shirts and actual COATS for the trip. Olive is determined to meet up with her old pal, Spirit, the little darling who tried very hard to buck her off last year, and Peach hopes to get in the rafting trip we had to cancel due to rain. Me, I'm just hoping we don't have to take out a loan to pay for all the GD gas.

May 21, 2008

Nice Try, Target

So, up to your old tricks, eh? When I breached your perimeter a mere 15 minutes after you opened this morning, I was, as always, armed with a LIST. A short LIST. Like I always have. Like you always try to DISTRACT me from. But today was different. Today, you brought out the big guns. You were playing for keeps. You were going for broke. You ... well, you know what you did, you dirty, dirty dog, you. You sent out some sort of homing signal, drawing me in today, first thing this morning, on the very day that the GD Wii Fit arrived in your store. The GD Wii Fit that was NOT on my LIST, even though I think it's cool, and I think it might be fun, and, I don't know, maybe I'd actually use it and, possibly, get in shape, and here they are, right here, just SITTING HERE, and the first 10 people I've seen in this store today have them in their baskets, and they look very pleased with themselves, so (holding one in my sweaty little hands), I don't know, 90 bucks, but it's RIGHT HERE, and I just read that article about it, and, and, and ... wait a minute. I see what's going on here. You muther effer. Using my low self esteem and gelatinous bits against me like that. Really, how can you sleep at night? Probably in a bed made of money in a house made of money in a kingdom made of money on a planet shaped like a bulls eye. Made of money.

Well, not today, my big red frenemy. I had a LIST, and finally finding the miracle cure for my chronic Bigassiness was NOT on it. So screw you, creepo. But big ups on all that cute Cynthia Rowley stuff. See ya next week.

May 18, 2008

Reason # 4,762 I Love This Town

Yesterday, as Peach and I ran through a long list of errands, we saw a guy dressed as Jesus walking around with a sign that said something like, "Jesus Against the War." Not two blocks later, we saw two guys dressed as Elvis (one white jumpsuit, one gold) holding court in a Taco Bell parking lot. Just cuz.

May 15, 2008

Hello, Lover. I've Missed You.

I love to read. I was an early reader and had a bookshelf brimming with books to choose from. I still have my first library card and can close my eyes right now and smell the stacks of the Westfall Branch of the SAPL from back in the day. I even wanted to be a librarian when I grew up - I loved those due date rubber stamps, the wooden card catalog, and just the perfect order of it all! Heavenly!

Flash forward to the college years, and my pleasure reading took a backseat to assigned works like the Entire Freaking Canon of Shakespeare (they're not all masterpieces, BTW), Theatre History from The Big Bang to The Great White Way (like, a shitload of history), and any number of post-war piece of crap plays whose names escape me now but that I was ready to perform in my best Standard English dialect at a moment's notice. Then in law school, reading hundreds of pages a week (even a night, sometimes) left me with precious little time or inclination to read anything non-legal. In fact, I remember quite clearly in my first year fighting sleep while I tried to glean the rule of law from a Vanity Fair interview with Sandra Bullock. Clearly, I was nuts.

Later, after scaring the hell out of myself (and annoying the hell out of T-Bone, though he would never admit it) with every pregnancy and parenting tome I could put my hands on, once Peach was born, my literary focus shifted to children's books, which I adore and would secretly love to write (shhh). Thanks to my obsession and T-Bone's mom's 25 years as a kindergarten teacher, Peach and Olive boast a library that is simply unparalleled, and they, too, love to wile away the hours with a stack of titles of their own choosing. They've had library cards since before they could walk, and of all the amazing things they can do, having them read to me absolutely moves me every time. Happy tears.

All this to say, since I left LawNerds and the hundreds of rancid, not-even-legally-or-historically-relevant-anymore cases I had to read each week, I've been trying to restart my reading habit, or at least extend it beyond the 10 minutes of People magazine I can get through before dozing off. Now, I'm not the speed demon she is, and I sure as hell can't read multiple books at once like she does, mostly because, really, I'm not very smart, and I have a hard time keeping all those characters straight and distinguishing between fantasy and reality, past and present, good twin, evil twin, etc.. So, I started off slow and have now truly rediscovered my love for the books, so much so that I'm on a first-name basis with most of the staff at my neighborhood Half Price Books. Granted, I'm not taking on anything too weighty at this point, mostly chick lit, mostly of the Southern fried variety, but I am enjoying myself and enjoying reading something that doesn't necessarily have to end up with a winner and a loser or a dead body and jail time. I know these characters - I've eaten their decadent desserts, I've seen their beautiful antiques, and I've learned those family secrets when a distant elderly cousin has too much wine at Christmas and brings the celebration to a standstill. I get it! And I love it!

So, I'm back with my old boyfriend, and he's already talking my into things I've never done before. Currently that would be: Attack of The Theatre People by Marc Acito, who I don't know from Adam, but when the blurb says that the main character gets kicked out of drama school in the 80s for being "too jazz hands for Juilliard," how can I resist?

May 13, 2008

Pot Pour E

  • Peach's First Communion was really wonderful, and she truly looked like an angel. We had the whole famdamily over for lunch afterwards, and the party wore on 'til the break-a-dawn. OK, just 'til dusk, but still. It was fun.
  • The exterminator, here on his normal quarterly visit last week, knocked on the back door to ask if I would like him to remove the THREE FOOT SNAKE nesting in the potted fern on my porch. Where we sit. All the time. I told him yes, yes I would like him to remove it. Then I shut the door and wet myself.
  • I ate lunch with a dear friend from high school on Friday, and we did not stop talking for two hours. I hardly ate anything for fear I would have to actually shut my piehole for a moment. I haven't seen her in about 15 years, and it's so nice to see that she is still the same, still hysterical, despite having weathered a number of bad events in recent years. Love her.
  • We ate Mother's Day dinner at the new Chuy's by our house, and, to my extreme displeasure, some wizard had the big idea to take Banditos, and all their green chile, fried cheesy goodness off the GD menu. All I can say is this bullshit better be limited to this location only or Cabezas. Will. Roll.
  • Peach had her year-end dance demonstration on Saturday, and Olive had hers on Monday. I now have videotaped evidence of the little demon spawn in Olive's class, in all their hideous glory, and, even though I'd probably get sued, I really think I could win some kind of contest with it. They are that evil.
  • I've resorted to applying to a variety of HGTV shows to make my landscaping and remodeling dreams come true because, really, this lottery thing isn't working out so well, and the folderful of paper napkins I've sketched my plans out on is starting to disintegrate.
  • The guy in front of me at the gas station today paid $96 to fill up his truck. Holy crap.
  • Ten weeks from tomorrow, I'm turning 40. Again with the holiest of crap.

May 11, 2008

Watch Your GD Mouth

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou

This is 243% more than other websites that were tested.

Thanks to that crazy bitch, Mrs. Squirrel, for the link.

And Happy Mutha's Day, y'all ...

May 1, 2008

MayDay! MayDay!

I'm going down fast, y'all! Help me! The past week, I have been in o-vah-drive, preparing and scurrying about for Abuelita Turista's 90th birthday shindig last weekend, and Peach's First Communion shindig this weekend. Like, my whole family will be here in less than 24 hours. And I've still got cleaning and gardening and teeth gnashing to do. Ay. Dios. Mio.

The big soiree last Saturday was so fun - I haven't seen that many bluehairs in one place since I broke up with Luby's. Abuelita Turista was absolutely the belle of the ball, posing with one foot kicked up every time someone complimented her on her all-white outfit. We took a bunch of family pictures, and the dress code was white, khaki, or a combination of both, so it was easy for the guests to spot us, even though it took a while for some of them to place us ("Are yew tha doctah or tha lawyah?" Well, neither at the moment ...). All of the kids had a ball running through my uncle's garden in their good clothes, and the city secretary stopped by to read a proclamation from the mayor of Small Texas Town, USA, officially declaring Saturday to be Abuelita Turista Day. We ate ourselves silly, and, some of us, sick. Poor Peach must have had one pecan tassy too many because we got to revisit the day's fare at about 1 am Sunday morning. All over her, all over the bed, but not, praise Jeebus, on my cousin's off-white carpet.

This week has been a flurry of final preparation for Peach's First Communion - classes, rehearsals, emails, ice cream cakes, etc.. It's been two years in the making, and what with the party afterward and the veil and all, I really do feel like I've just planned her wedding. Which is what Olive keeps calling it, her "kid wedding." Peach is beyond excited, and it seems her star pupil status holds true in her religious as well as secular education. Her teacher loves her and says she can always count on her to know the answer to everything, including explaining very earnestly to the class that the tabernacle is much like a "holy refrigerator." I'm so happy for her.

Now, some tidbits. My broham has been in Rwanda(?!) on computer business, and he missed Opie's 1st birthday last Thursday. Boo. That little monkey is so adorable, and funny as hell, but he still prefers his mama to his tia. I'm working on it ...

When we were on the road to Abuelita Turista's last Friday, we stopped at Target in Katy so I could pee and get T-Bone some contact solution. And who should I literally run into upon exiting the bathroom? Kady from American Idol! Yeah, I couldn't think of her name either, but I recognized her as the blonde that did the Britney impression all the time. Anywho, small world, right?

Oh, and also? Damnit!!!