Speaking of the most edible nephew in the history of the world, meet Opie.
April 29, 2007
Speaking of the most edible nephew in the history of the world, meet Opie.
April 26, 2007
- Badger - If you're not already one of her many, many fans, buckle up, dude. She has made me think of many things the past year, including food, wine, books, vodka, kids, boobs, IKEA, and Friday Night Lights. She rocks.
- Hollow Squirrel - This gal actually MAKES me think, literally, what with all her questions, queries, and quadrants. She also has great work stories, hubby stories, and JoJo stories. And she's hilarious.
- Karla May - She's the nutcake who got me into this whole blogging mess to begin with, practically dared me even. But I've always been a fan of her writing, and her posts truly do make me think - mostly "How have I known this person nearly 20 years and never known what a freak she is?"
- Trent - I know, I know. He's never gonna see this. He's busy doctoring up pictures and fawning over Tori Amos and Kylie Minogue. Enough already. But he has entertained me and made me think - mostly "What is it exactly that Nicole Richie does?"
- Jennifer - This gal's dedication and total commitment to veganism amaze me. Not enough to give up the cheese, of course. But I've learned a lot about food, and she's got great pictures. And I think she may be almost as anal retentive as I am. Almost.
So that's it. That's The List. Check these folks out if you don't already. But just promise you'll come back home to mama when you're done. All three of you.
And let me add a quick shout out to my girl, T - it's your berfday, it's your berfday ... Have a good one! Peace!
April 24, 2007
According to my brother, the labor was "very painful" - really?! - and the baby has a really cute forehead. Hmmm. He tipped the scales at 8.5 lbs and stretched out to 21 inches long. We grow 'em big around here. Peach and Olive are so excited to meet their new "brutha cuzzin," I'm sure we'll be making a trip to see him this week. I canNOT believe my brother is a dad ...
April 22, 2007
I come by this simple pleasure honestly as I'm part of a long line of proud bedmakers. When I'm around my grandmother, she practically DARES me to try and get all the beds made before she does, and we usually end up making some of them together. We could do a Hallmark commercial, it's all so damn adorable. I've learned lots of little secrets to making the perfect bed, and I really think if I was a soldier or a prisoner, I could get a medal or time off my sentence for my awesome hospital corners.
I know (I know!) I'm obsessive, but it still really surprises me how many people have no idea how to make a bed. My mom's cousin recently bought his first house, and he asked her to help him pick out some furniture. They bought some linens, and she actually had to walk him through making the new bed, step-by-increasingly-painful-step. Like, she had to repeatedly explain the difference between the flat sheet and the fitted sheet. And that you put the mattress protector on BEFORE you put the sheets on. He's 55. And educated. Supposedly. But he's living alone for the first time EVER, and he's just now getting around to learning the ins-and-outs of housekeeping. Jeebus, dude.
I was recently helping a girl organize her big ass house - a job that could take me the rest of my natural life, by the by - and as I passed her open and overflowing linen closet for the umpteenth time, I decided I couldn't stand it any longer. Action had to be taken. Once I 86ed the faded and the holey, we were left with two or three sets for each bed. Instead of cramming everything back in there, as seemed to be the current system, I came up with the novel idea of FOLDING each sheet and pillowcase before putting them away. She stood there, mouth agape as I made quick work of it, and here's what followed:
Girl: Ya know, I don't know how you do that.
LT: Well, it's basically corner to corner, over and over.
G: Yeah, I just never learned how you do that.
G: And what do you do about king size sheets? My arms are too short to fold those.
G: And how do you keep them from getting so wrinkled? What kind do you buy?
LT: (WTF?) It helps if you fold them. And with the big sheets, try laying them on the bed or a table to fold them. Like this (enviable) built-in folding table you have here in your (ginormous) laundry room (armslength away from your linen closet). The table you have the (nasty, stanky) bird cage (for a bird that died before you moved in here) and (lifetime supply of off-brand) maxipads on.
G: Is THAT what that is? I always wondered what that was for. I should tell my maid.
Yeah, you get right on that, genius. I'm going to bed.
April 20, 2007
|Your Mouth is a Little Big|
April 17, 2007
April 15, 2007
And then, this:I'm available most weekends, for little or no cost, I was CPR certified in 7th grade, and I have great references.
April 11, 2007
Big Bend is in the Chihuahuan Desert, and maybe it's just me, but when I think "desert," I think, "hot. dry. snakes." But, this weekend, all I could think was, "cold. snow. bears." I've been to Big Bend for Easter before, and it got cool at night. Like, maybe we had some ice on our tent. But, this year? Full-on SNOW. Thankfully, we were staying in the lodge, but still, it's hard to gear up for some hiking when the wind is literally blowing you backwards and chapping the shit out of your face and hands.
Speaking of, damn, y'all! What's up with the bears? There were bear boxes and bear-proof trashcans every five feet all over the park because, apparently, we, as proud Americans, not only want ourselves and our children to be morbidly obese - we want the bears to be fat asses, too. I'm telling you, don't do it! Ranger Rick will SO kick your ass, and Smokey will probably torch your tent.
April 9, 2007
April 5, 2007
It's that time again, y'all! Time to scare the bunny poop pellets right out of you! No, really. You're welcome.
April 1, 2007
For quite a while now, she's been talking about (okay, asking about) sleeping in her big girl bed in "Peach's room" (which she finally figured out is her room, too), and she loves to climb up in her big girl bed and "pretend to sleep alone" or read books. And then stupid Target had to put those cowgirl sheets on sale, and then Peach started chiming in (okay, pleading), and I knew I was in trouble. Shit.
Friday night was the first night, and they both ran to their beds, giggling and wiggling all the way. After a couple of Dr. Seuss books for Olive and a couple of chapters of Nancy Drew for Peach, they literally waved me out of the room. Hugs and kisses all around, and I left. Slowly. I thought, NOW what am I supposed to do? They aren't asleep yet. They're just lying there. Alone. Without ME. My BABIES!!! But then - I turned on the monitor, and I heard this:
Peach: And if you need anything, Olive, anything at all, I'm right here. Okay?
Olive: I wuv you, Sis.
And that was that.
I might be proud of them if I wasn't so sad about the whole thing. Sleeping in The Big Bed with Olive was the last bit of babyhood I had to cling to, and as hard as it was when Peach moved into her big girl bed, (at about the same age, I might add), I was at least pregnant with Olive and had more nights of little feet in my back to look forward to. That said, purely for my own benefit, I still slept most nights on a mattress on the floor right next to Peach until I was too pregnant to get down there anymore. And then I made T-Bone do it. Well, she was all the way in the NEXT room - what if she needed us?
Now both of my "big girls" are all the way UPstairs on the OTHER side of the friggin' house - think I'm sleeping easy? Well, no. But I'm still hoping that maybe this is just a phase, and maybe Olive will come to her senses and want to come back to The Big Bed. Maybe the cowgirl sheets could get "accidentally" torn or LOST or something. Maybe. Maybe not. Shit.
For now, I think I hear my mattress calling me ...