Goin' Out in a Hail of Bullets

Here's how I spent the last week of 2006:

• Monday, 12/25 - Merry Christmas to all, and to Peach, six pairs of new shoes. Count em, six. That's one of the beauties of being a kid - when you've outgrown one pair of shoes, you've probably outgrown them all. Can you imagine? Add that score to the highly coveted Easy Bake Oven and a host of other goodies, and you've got one happy (now) seven year old. For Olive, it's Little People City over here, y'all. She got the school, the school bus, and the illusive reindeer she was lacking from her Christmas set. We've also added to our ever-growing herd of horses a black stallion and stable and our first Breyer horse, complete with a fully decked-out cowgirl she named "Cowgirl Nanny."
• Tuesday, 12/26 - We headed to the Houston area for Christmas with my mom's family.
• Wednesday, 12/27 - Peach got her ears pierced.
• Thursday, 12/28 - I took Peach and my cousin's two boys to see "Night at the Museum." Not bad.
• Friday, 12/29 - We celebrated the birth of my cousin's new twins and then fought the rain and freakass lightning all the way back home. Four and a half hours, man. My knuckles are still white.
• Saturday, 12/30 - Peach turned seven. She started the day with a tiny chocolate cake in bed and then moved on to a treasure hunt orchestrated by T-Bone. She loves mystery books, so he got her stuck on this series, and ever since, he has been scouring the Internets to complete her collection. Last year, he wrote 56(!) clues for the inaugural hunt, which ended with a huge box full of about 20 of the books. This year, he (thankfully) kept it under 20 clues and added five more books. Peach loved it. We spent the rest of the day playing with all the new Christmas stuff and opening more new birthday stuff. A proper party usually follows in the early spring.
• Sunday, 12/31 - The road goes on forever, and the party never ends. Not in December around here, anyway. TODAY is the 9th anniversary of our gettin' hitched in a precious little church in San Antonio on a crisp New Year's Eve. Right in the middle of the city-wide free-for-all fiesta that the powers that be just so happened to revive that year for the first time in forever. Thanks, guys. It actually all turned out quite fabulous, if my blissful memory serves, but y'all will have to wait until next year for the full story (and it's a good one). Happy Anniversary, T-Bone. You hunka burnin' love, you.

Happy Birthday to Peach

Seven years ago today, Peach made her grand entrance into the world before an audience of four grandparents, one uncle, one aunt, and one honorary aunt, the lovely Karla May. The room was quiet and quite obviously filled with love, and we all cried when that little angel turned from bluish-white to bright pink, right before our eyes. It was one of the greatest moments of my life, and we marked the anniversary thereof by allowing Peach to mutilate her body. Yup, the cherub got her ears pierced.

I got mine done when I was nine, and I remember it well because my mom had hers done, too. She took my 12 year old cousin and me to Best, the old catalog store, and she made the two of us go FIRST because she was such a chicken. They used the gun, and I remember the sound made it seem like it hurt worse than it did. We survived, so my mom thought she could, too, but she jumped on the second one, so they had to do it again - insert Nelson's "HAha" laugh here.

I wanted to do Peach's ears at birth, but cooler heads (T-Bone's) prevailed, and we agreed to wait until she could CHOOSE to have them done herself, blahblahblah. Of course, she started voicing said choice at about three years old, when she discovered dress up and costume jewelry. I had to ride T-Bone a little bit about that, like, "So wise counselor, as to the ear piercing issue, just what is the age of legal consent?" We decided seven sounded about right, and damn if she hasn't been counting down the days for about the last six months.

I explained the whole procedure and the resulting responsibility ad nauseum and told her repeatedly that if she changed her mind at the last minute, that was okay, but if she made it through one ear, she had to get the other one done or else she would look like a pirate. She held fast to her word, so Wednesday, we hit Merle Norman, and, flanked by my mom and my cousin (the whole Circle of Life thing, ya know), she got both ears done at the SAME time. Awesome. Highly recommend this if they have two people working. The traditional gun has changed a lot, so it wasn't loud or staplegun-sounding at all, and they offered an array of tiny CZ studs as an alternative to the usual gold or silver balls. Peach of course went for the pink bling, and her little elfin ears look quite snazzy. She skipped out of there high as a kite, and I had to pause. How can seven years go by so fast? I love you, my girl. Happy Birthday and Happy Happy Life.

Suck on this, Martha

As I've mentioned before, after battling my antiquated artificial tree for the LAST time last year, I decided that this year we would have a real tree AND we would make all the ornaments. So I sold that old bitch on Craig's List and looked forward to a year or two of doing things old school. And then I saw the cover of Family Circle at the grocery store and thought, "That's it! I can totally do that myself." Of course, I wasn't taking into account the fact that we were going to be gone 10 out of the 14 days before and after Thanksgiving, which is when I usually decorate. So ... several late LATE nights later, I finished the damn thing and will curse Family Circle and their crafty ways forever. However, since this is the first time in 5 years I haven't been working furiously up to - and usually on - Christmas for LawNerds, I had more time to fluff and fuss, which is kind of dangerous. And because I worked so hard, and I can't have all of y'all over for cocktails (although I would love to), I will now share the fruits of my labor: "Christmas Exploded Here, 2006."

First, the inspiration:

Upon further inspection, I realized this tree is probably like 3 feet tall, so my 8 foot tree needed a lot more crafty crap on it. A LOT. My thanks to the sons of bitches at Family Circle and their damn trick photography.

Now, the execution:

Props to T-Bone for sacrificing his fingertips while stringing the popcorn. And big ups to mijitas for painting such lovely ornaments while I very nearly caused permanent nerve damage from all the paper cutting I did.

Moving on, this snowy village makes me so happy, I just want to move right in. Of course, this being Austin, I'm sure these little cottages are totally out of my price range and need a lot of work on the inside. P.S. Feel free to genuflect, light a candle, and drop a little something in the offering basket upon entry to our casa.

Next, we have The Santa Posse. Thankfully, our completely uncoordinated, nosy cat has managed to maneuver her fat ass through these guys without taking anybody out, which is where she would go if she did.

In the kitchen, I literally can't see the forest for the trees. Yuk yuk.

Even the light fixtures aren't safe. And that's garland, by the by, not some hairy mold. Don't panic.

So, that's it. That's the tour. Or at least part of it anyway. Anywho, I'm sure we'll all be otherwise occupied these next few days, so we'll have to grab a cup of coffee and catch up after the insanity dies down. Wait, I hate coffee. OK, beers it is. Feliz Navidad, y'all! Peace!

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time

I'm actually starting to de-stress, de-freak, and slow down. Pretty much. Yesterday was a whirlwind, though. After dropping Peach off at school, Olive and I ran some final(?) Santa-related errands, and then we returned to GGMS for the holiday sing-along. This is just the sweetest place, and the caroling was made all the more special by the addition of a guest mom on guitar and vocals. Love her. Plus, it's hilarious to watch Peach because she is a VERY earnest singer - lots of swaying and gestures. And yawning, too.

We left full of the spirit and came home to prepare for the in-laws, who appeared a few hours later weighted down with food and presents. Even though I gave them a SHORT list (2 items) for Peach and Olive and an impassioned plea to not get anything for us. I fear another talking, dancing, farting holiday character is in my future. Shit. I did however find a precious JoJo Christmas card from the lovely Mrs. Squirrel in my mailbox, so that took the sting off a bit. And I finally got my own cards in the pipeline - y'all do celebrate Kwanzaa, right? Good - they should be there by then.

Later, we met my BIL and his family, plus Peach's best friend from school, at Shady Grove for dinner. How much do I love those green chile cheese fries? Damn! The weather was perfect - just crisp enough to feel like winter in Texas, but I wasn't freezing my ass off - and that made the hike after dinner to the Trail of Lights quite pleasant. Peach and company performed their "Let It Snow" tap routine, complete with Rockette kick line, and Olive and her cousin C had a ball dancing/dragging each other all over the place.

We schlepped everybody back to the car and back home to the MOST awesome Whole Foods gingerbread cake (courtesy of Karla May). It's like buttah, y'all. Really. I hit the hay early, sandwiched between two snoring elves, while T-Bone and the elder Bones solved all the world's problems. In a nutshell, it was a great day. Now, if I can only sustain the merry attitude for three more days ...

Oh My Credit Card Bill is Frightful

But I think I'm finished with the shopping and the buying and the scurrying. I think. I have been a crazyass loon the last week, running the streets in between cleaning the house from top to bottom and FINALLY finishing the GD tree. I had an ornament exchange party on Sunday, featuring the lovely Karla May, Bookhart, and Jaye, and I've been to two dance class demonstrations, with one more performance and a school program left to round out the week. The in-laws come Thursday, and the parentals come Sunday. And then begins the eating and the gifting and the lounging. All this to say, I'm already braindead and exhausted, and it ain't even Christmas yet.

So, instead of being creative or whatever, I lifted this fun little exercise from Angry Pregnant Lawyer: My Blogging Year in Review. Here is the first line of my first post of each month, starting with my debut in February.

• OK - I give.
• Yup - 3 cubic yards of turkey shit.
• While playing Apples to Apples this weekend, Peach brought down the house with one of her plays.
• I hate it when child care centers and preschools have cutesy, corny names - and if they have any spelling or grammatical errors in the name, I think they should be immediately shut down or at least severely fined by state authorities.
• Our house was burglarized today.
• Happy Birfday America.
• So, we're back.
• After another weekend away, I'm bloated, bedraggled, and nearly braindead, so this here's all I got for tonight.
• Today marks the third anniversary of Olive's birth, when she came bursting into this world with a dark brown mohawk and the eyes and skin to match.
• While I may not have any sugar skulls or altars to share with you for Dia de los Muertos (but come by my house - believe me, I've got it covered), to honor the late, great EAP, I do have this.
• That's how many pictures I took at Mouse World.