Who am I?

This little game has been making the rounds, but I lifted it from Bookhart. You Google "(your name) looks like," and see what comes up. I used just my first name, which I happen to share with a famous walking trainwreck, so the results were numerous and quite creative. Some of my favorites:

"(La T’s first name) looks like"

• crap.
• hell.
• death.
• the old junkie she is.
• a dirty dollar bill.
• an ... alien or something.
• a frumpy aunty.
• a granny.
• a tranny.
• a ghoul.
• an Elvis impersonator.
• a cracked out Debbie Harry.
• a b-movie version of James Caan.
• the bloated, maggot-ridden corpse of Joan Rivers on a bad day.
• Penny Marshall, and that ain’t good.
• a scaggy 30-something with a really bad dye job trying to look like a scaggy 'tween.
• a lot of the old broads I see here on the Upper East side. While most of them look like they have sticks up their bums, I bet she actually does.
• she’s about to pop.
• she’s going to a Halloween party at a frat house.
• she’s a little bit guilty – just a little.
• she's chewing something 90% of the time you see her face.
• she’s doing really well with her recovery (fingers crossed).
• a sensitive, trembling doe in the great forest, all crouched against a fallen log, until some kindly person finds her and calms her by gently caressing her quivering breasts.(?!)