Too Good To Be For True?

I have a separate email account for my anal retentive biz, and this, as is, arrived in my inbox after I posted an ad on craigslist:

Hello, I am Marian Bacon by name and I need a Household that can take good care of my house before my 3years child birthday party that will be celebrated this month. I really need a General House cleaning in my House and also who can do the cleaning Monthly too, I am presently Out of the country for a while just to handling some New year Company Project Budget which will be lasted till the end of the month,

So I will be coming back home very soon after the Company Project Budget and get myself prepared for my child Birthday Party with my big family. I have been away since January now, and since I will be coming home for my only God sent child Birthday , I want a professional cleaner that will be able to Handle my house for me before I arrive back to state, because Idon't like Dirty Environment for the party. * I will need you to do generally in my House and my home address as follow;- 901 East Thomas Drive Apt 74 Pharr, TX 78577

1) Here are the Part of places I needed to be cleaned

* Living Room: Dust Furniture, Dust Walls & Ceilings

*Floors: Wash and/or vacuum throughout or Vacuum Floors & Baseboards

*Kitchen: Clean countertops, dust and wipe appliances, spot-clean cupboard fronts and wash floors. or Clean & Sanitize Kitchen

*Bathrooms: Spotlessly clean sinks, tubs, Toilets and wipe counters, Clean & Sanitize Bathrooms

* Wood Staining (interior & exterior) and Roof Painting

*Cutting of the Grasses, and if that Grasses cutting is not part of your duty, you can look for someone close to you that will handle that part, because I know the snow will not make you do the cutting of grasses. I will also need a Babysitter for my Three (3) years Child, if you can do that too, but if you can't do that, kindly help me in looking for a caring person to help me out for that. I will like you to tell me your service cost for all this, I will make every provision for you, but I want a prefect job as I said before, I will not like a Dirty place for the Party. Please just make every thing perfect before I arrive, I will be in the state soonest, but I will like everything ready before my arrival time. So I want everything to be well arranged and clean. And I also attached some copies of the pictures for my house below. So kindly check out for the pictures of the Apartment and the bedroom including the kitchen, so I want you to take a look at the pictures and let me know your price per hours or on contract based.

I will contact my Boss to issue a payment in your name and send it to you, the amount that will be issued and send is $2,250 It my (TFA) Travel Food Allowance Payment , but its US Money Order which takes a long time to cash here in Spain , so I will like you to accept it, deduct $500 Advance Deposit for your service, and send ($1,640) to my Traveling Agent, because its for my Flight ticket and my child shopping and keep the remaining balance with you till I arrive to the state and we shall settle for the balance left with you. If eventually your service charge is more than $500, I will pay you the balance when I arrive and if it not up to $500, I will have my balance as well, but I will compensate you if the jobs are well done.

I will need your Full Details to issue the Payment. Immediately you forward the payment details, I will call you and I will send your Full name and address to my Boss and he will issue the payment and send it to you, that means you will receive the payment latest by 4 working days . I will send the Apartment Keys and Address as soon as you receive the check. Through the mailing address which you will be giving me to forward to my boss. You can give me a call too. Looking forward to read back from you.

First of all, yes, I know this is a joke. Clearly, a jetsetter like Marian has the means to hire any Household she wants, so I doubt she would be satisfied with some fly-by-night outfit like mine. HOWEVER, Marian is really appealing to my OCD tendencies, what with all the cleaning and the sanitizing, the dusting of the ceilings, and, of course, the cutting of the grasses. I mean, I also do not like a Dirty Environment and will not like a Dirty place for the Party for Marian's only God sent Three(3) years Child. Not at all. That said, is there no one in Pharr, Texas to get the perfect job done before she returns from Spain, where she's currently handling that New year company project budget? Surely there must be some professional Household who can Handle her house before she arrives back to state. And look, she even included pictures for her house:

I had no idea Pharr, Texas even had a Strip, but I'm not at all surprised that a stepper like Marian has a great view of it. AND a hot tub, y'all. I'm not sure why she included a picture of "Lucky," but if that Jimmy Buffet margarita machine he's sitting next to is part of the deal, I'm in.