Dewey Cheatem & Howe

Normally, I try to avoid and discourage forwaded and/or lawyer jokes, but it's cold and rainy outside, and this made me laugh:

Warning Signs that You Need a New Lawyer:

• You met him in prison
• The sign in front of his office says, "Practicing Law Since 2:25"
• At your initial consulation, he tries to sell you Amway
• When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other
• He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose"
• He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger"
• He keeps yelling, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and drinks a shot
• He keeps citing the case of Godzilla v. Mothra
• When he says, "Your Honor," he makes air quotes
• When his objections are overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

I'm pretty sure I graduated with that guy. And he was already disbarred two years later. Idiot.