June 26, 2006

La Tizzy Back in Da Hizzy

Word. I'm back from a successful trip to the Big D Market Center to help my mom buy stuff for her shop. She's been doing it for over 20 years, but I've only gone 4 or 5 times because I hate shopping. Unless I'm really in the mood. And I have a lot of money to spend. Both of which things happen very infrequently. And this is hardcore, to-the-death, power shopping. We're looking for things that OTHER people might want to buy for their homes or as gifts, and you have to wade through floor after floor of ridiculous crap to find the good stuff.

Each season, there always seem to be two or three trends that emerge and are bastardized in any number of ways in showroom after showroom. This time it was wine. You name it, and it had a wine bottle painted, stamped, or stitched on it. The most ridiculous thing I saw was a metal sculpture-like thing in the shape of a wine cooler that you would put on the table to keep the wine chilled during a meal, but it was all cut out into some crazy character like Elvis or a cowboy or a cop. Sort of like metal clothes for your wine bottle. Kill me now. And the thing is, the folks that that would appeal to drink their vino out the box, yo, not no bottle, so then it's doubly useless.

And speaking of clothes, what is this obsession with dressing your pets? There were more outfits and costumes and furniture than you could shake a stick at. In a word, that whole phenomenon is absolutelycompletelyandutterlyasininebeyondbelief, and I for one would like to kick the ass of the next person I see with a dog in a purse. I don't care how expensive or big the bag is, you're carrying your dog in a purse, which is an accessory, and your dog is a living thing, which is not an accessory. So screw you. I can only hope that the next time you try to put that precious Carmen Miranda ensemble on your little Chiquita Banana that she bites a chunk out of your collagen-riddled lips.

T-Bone held down the fort quite well for three nights. No big surprise. The whole crew met me at the airport, pretty much in one piece - Olive with only two huge mosquito bites on her cheek, and Peach with a bloody hole in her mouth from pulling her fifth tooth by herself.

P.S. One GREAT find was a necklace from these gals with my LaT profile picture on it. Of all things! I'll be sporting that beauty and hanging the boatload of other goodies I ordered from them in a few weeks. Pictures to follow ...

1 comment:

Bookhart said...

I've always wanted to go to market. Not because I'm a champion shopper, or an expert decorator, or someone who knows tulle from chiffon. But just to look. I'm jealous.