ONN

I do enjoy me some Onion news, but these three videos from the Onion News Network really spoke to me this week.

After a particularly harrowing visit to the pediatrician with Olive this week, which included a surprise booster shot and the requisite fallout therefrom, I asked her later if she would promise to forget the whole horrible incident, and she whimpered, "Yes, Mommy. I forgive you." Broke. My. Heart. Until I saw this:



Next, y'all know I'm a huge drama geek, right? And you still tolerate me anyway, right? Well, this brilliant piece of "news" speaks to me on so many different levels, I can't even tell you:



And finally, I've spoken with you people before about some of the more disturbing food trends being thrust upon this already portly country of ours, so truly, this is only a matter of time: