Until I'm 40. Really, I know you think I'm kidding, but the number doesn't bother me that much. Yeah, so it sounds weird to say, especially when I can vividly remember my mom's surprise 40th birthday party, and the brownies I made my dad when he made the leap. And it freaks me right the eff out when I think that our next president (Jeebus willing) will be just about 7 years older than me. But other than that, it's cool. And again, what can I do about it anyway?
It's just that this milestone birthday happens to come at a time of great change in the ol' casa, so I think I'm feeling it a little more than I expected I would.
In the six months before my 30th birthday, I got married, graduated from law school, took the Bar, and had a most spectacular unicorn-themed birthday party a week later, complete with a pinata that I believe Daddy O finally destroyed with a fence post. Within the next year, I passed the Bar, got a job, moved to Austin, and got pregnant with Peach. A lot has happened since then, most significantly, the birth of Olive and the building of two houses, but for the most part, we've been (thankfully) fairly untouched by drama or turmoil.
Today, however, I'm facing the fact that this fall, both of my little birds will be out of the house, all day, every day, and I'm therefore dipping ever further into the job market waters, pathetic as they are right now, as I try to make the jump from Stay-at-Home Mom to Work-From-Home Mom to full-fledged Working Mom. I have lots of mom friends that have always worked, and lots of mom friends that have always stayed at home, but none, so far, have made the leap from one to the other, so I'm on my own here. Obviously, even after almost nine years with me at home, the change would be more significant for La Familia if Peach and Olive weren't in school, but just wrapping my own head around the fact that I may not be able to go to every program and field trip and dance class is pretty hard. I'm so thankful I've been able to spend as much time with them as I have, and any supposed "sacrifices" T-Bone and I have made to make that happen have been minimal. We chose to raise our family this way, and now we have to move on to the next phase of the plan - steering clear of the poorhouse. Plus, I'm still paying for my law degree, so I guess I should try and put it to good use, however reluctantly.
So, I'm a little blue, not because of the number but because the time between the last big birthday and this one, joyful as it has been, has gone by way too quickly, and I'm worried about the changes to come, especially in the next few months. And as I look ahead 10 years to the next big birthday, one of my little birds will not only be out of the house every day, but also flying much further away, to her own on-campus nest. So I've got that harsh truth to look forward to as I ring in 50. Joy.
But fear not, dear reader(s?). Come next Wednesday, I will wake up with a smile on my face and don my obligatory baby picture/"Lordy Lordy Look Who's Forty" mall cart T-shirt with pride. And then commence drinking. Sounds like a good day to me.
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