We Can Do It

At least that's what I keep telling myself as I look ahead to the second half of this most busy week. Lots and lots of driving. I realize things crank up during "the holidays," but is Halloween now considered the start of all that insanity? And poor Thanksgiving. What happened to Thanksgiving? The stores have been putting out Christmas stuff next to the Halloween stuff for weeks, leaving a little room for some headless pilgrims and sad looking gourds left over from last year. I'm not a big scarecrow fan, and since we don't actually have "fall" around here, I never really decorate for Thanksgiving, so whatever. But today? I actually half-considered buying a new Christmas tree. I'm such a sheep. Like I have TIME to obsess about the tree already. Por ejemplo:

• Monday - I got Olive's birthday picture made at the mall. Will I ever learn? Later, it was wear-your-Halloween-costume-to-dance-class for both of them, so poor Olive was changing in the car all day.
• Tuesday - I helped with Olive's Halloween party at school, to which I took delicious pumpkin chocolate chip muffins I made my owndamnself. Yeah, you read that right.
• Wednesday - Why, that's today! Happy Halloween, y'all! We started the morning with Ghosts of the Past at Peach's school. Each kid comes dressed as a notable figure in history, and they do a short presentation about that person for the whole school. Peach decided she wanted to be Rosie the Riveter, and we managed to find a real woman who was closely identified with the character because: a) she appeared in war bond promo films; b) she was a real riveter; and c) yep, her name was Rose. Anyway, Peach looked adorable, and she did very well with her presentation. Tonight, Karla May and the Geej will be here for tricks, treats, and pizza.
• Thursday - Olive is doing a little thing for chapel at school, so I'll be there with cameras at the ready. Plus, it's T-Bone's birthday! And my SIL's birthday! The one who's due any minute with her second girl, who we're hoping is born tomorrow so everybody in their family will have birthdays on the first of the month! Because we think about things like that! I'm going to encourage lots of Halloween sex to get the ball rolling, but something tells me, she may not be up for it.
• Friday - Nothing in particular on the schedule yet, just Baby Watch '07 and probably some yard work.
• Saturday - Peach has Nutcracker rehearsal, and this week, we're in charge of cleaning up the dressing room afterwards. Joy.
• Sunday - I'll be writing yet another Nutcracker-related check for pictures, which are supposed to take about THREE HOURS, what with all the group and individual combinations. Kinda like at your wedding. And we all know how fun that is.

That's all I've got for now. Except for this - at the gas station and at Whataburger today (I had to get my taquito on), I saw signs that asked people to remove their masks. This is a problem that warrants professionally printed signs? The Whataburger one kinda freaked me out because it was worded just like this:

For the Safety ... of our customers and our team members

Please remove ... your Halloween mask at this time

I'm so glad they clarified what we're supposed to remove because that poorly placed ellipsis had me thinking of all kinds of possibilities.

The gas station was pretty straightforward:

No MASKS in the store at any time. NO exceptions.

So, superheroes, Haz-Mat guys, astronauts - stay the hell out of the Shell station on Barton Springs.

Have fun tonight!

Mixed Bag of Tricks and Treats

• T-Bone went to Curriculum Instruction Night at GGMS on Tuesday so he could see how they're teaching our second grader ALGEBRA.
• Olive's teacher reported that during "free coloring time" on Thursday, while all the other kids were coloring pumpkins, bats, and ghosts, Olive decided to draw and color the Great Wall of China.
• T-Bone and I heartily enjoyed the big-time fundraiser (mostly the open bar) at Olive's school on Thursday night. We love to watch The Haves and The Have Mores go at it during the live auction, but sadly, T-Bone's dream of a trip to an exotic game ranch will have to wait another year. And the dinner party for 8 prepared by a Hollywood chef I was hoping to snag for our anniversary party slipped right through my fingers. I guess 20 bucks just doesn't go as far as it used to ...
• You do know I'm kidding, right?
• Coming back to reality, the best part of the night was when we stopped by one of my all-time favorite joints, and split a tall, cold pitcher while listening to the awesome jukebox. Seriously, where else can you hear "Let's Pretend We're Married," "Stranglehold," and "A Taste of Honey" all in one sitting? Nowhere, my friend. Nowhere.
• Yesterday was the final day of my housecleaning bender. I always get so inspired to talk to you people while I'm cleaning, but do you really want to know about my love for vacuuming or my tricks for getting the schmutz off the top of the microwave? I'll just say that, short of moving the icebox and the stove, I touched every single inch of this place, and I'm spent. Something about the cold snap got me all giddy, I guess.
• Today is GGMS's Halloween Festival, and although Peach and Olive decided long ago to be a 50s girl and a cowgirl for Halloween, today's event seems to require a different costume (a girl can't wear the same thing twice, right?), so it looks like we're taking a princess and a bat with us.
• Finally, I want to send out a big wag-of-the-finger and a hearty, "F*** You" (there are children present) to the Four A-Hole Moms who were letting their heathens terrorize every kid on the restaurant playground last night as they drank, chatted, and took pictures of each other. The much older hooligans were climbing on the outside of the equipment that was straining to hold them up, flinging each other around and into other people, including adults, and literally mowing over anyone in their path of destruction. Twice I said in my best camp counselor voice, "Slow down" and "Get off," but of course, they were too possessed to hear or care. When I finally figured out who they belonged to, my Laser Stare of Death was powerless against those bitches, and we were called to our table shortly after. So, way to go A-Holes! You won!

I Need Your Help

Right now, T-Bone, the love of my life, is downstairs watching Cavemen, and, y'all, he's laughing. Out loud. Holy shit. Seriously, how did this happen? A 30 second commercial with those guys is one thing, but an entire show?! Which he insists on recording because God forbid he miss an episode?! I watched the first one with him just to be, you know, supportive, and it was just as stupid as I thought it would be, so I told him that if he was going to keep watching that shit, I didn't want to know anything about it unless he was telling me that it was cancelled. So here I sit, contemplating legal action against those sumbitches at GEICO for ruining my marriage and poisoning my hub's heretofore brilliant sense of humor.

Also? I've got to get the house clean for my mom on Thursday and my in-laws this weekend, so if you could just start with the kitchen and the bathrooms, that would be grrrrreat. Thanks!

Peach For President

Overheard from the backseat as we passed yet another lot cleared and ready for commercial construction on the former "country" backroad to our neighborhood:

If I'm ever President, we're going to have five years of no building, just planting trees and flowers. And no one can eat any meat either. It's going to be the healthiest five years in the history of The United States.

Sounds like a plan.

Monday Monday

So I made it through The Nutcracker fundraiser this weekend with my balls intact. There were a few tense moments, like when somebody snuck in a final bid right after the silent auction closed (for shame!), and the powers-that-be had to confer and decide whether or not to let the cheatercheaterpunkineater have the GAWDawful western-themed tabletop Christmas tree she seemed so willing to go straight to hell for. I voted to let her take the piece of shit because: 1) then I wouldn't have to look at it anymore; and 2) we get five more bucks for it. So, win/win, right? Word. Now I think I can coast until we start dress rehearsals, which I'm sure will be a barrel of fun, and then more volunteering backstage during the production run, which I am actually really looking forward to, being an old dancin' machine and thespian meself. Plus, I'm a Leo.

But here's what I'm really thinking about today: quintuplets. I read an article about this family in a local mag, and God love the nine of them, I freaked when I saw that the two older children are the exact same age as Peach and Olive. So it would be like me walking in with FIVE newborns, right friggin' now. FIVE. All at once. I had a hard enough time deciding whether or not I could tear myself away from Peach long enough to have a second baby, and once I decided expanding our little family was something we were doing FOR her and not TO her, I was lucky enough to get pregnant with Olive right away, and the rest is blissfully happy history. But tending to F-I-V-E babies? Plus the older two? I guess you just do what you've gotta do, and this couple seems to be handling it well so far, but dang. Five. I will say though that I am totally jealous of the mama's amazing color-coordinated organization system - assigned colors for each tot's clothes, bedding, and feeding and diaper charts. Sweet.

Now, here's the Good News/Bad News for today. Good News: They just opened a Super Target down the street from my house. Bad News: They ju$t opened a $uper Target down the $treet from my hou$e. $hit.