While not exactly a Luddite, I am very technologically-challenged. Mostly by choice. Or out of laziness, whichever. Short of Internet surfing, emailing, and work stuff, the most “high-tech” thing I can do is send an evite. I know. I don’t have a smart phone. I don’t do Twitter or any social networking. And I don’t text. Call me crazy, but if I want to TALK to someone, I, um, CALL them on the PHONE. And really, just when did everybody get so GD important is what I want to know.
Again, it’s not that I’m against technology per se, and I can see the value in some of those things, but it’s all just so time-consuming. And the minute you learn one thing, they “improve” it, and you’ve got to buy/learn a whole new thing. I can barely work our DVR, and I’m still fascinated by Call Notes, so honestly, I think my plate is full.
Por ejemplo, Saturday, T-Bone went to Big D for his aunt’s funeral (the third person we’ve lost to cancer in as many months – however, Aunt J had been kicking lymphoma’s ass for 10 years. 10!). He left his phone behind, and while I was making breakfast for las ninas, it buzzed or chirped or whatever, and I saw that he had a text message from Rudy From Work. I haven’t met Rudy From Work yet, but I’ve heard a lot about him, and apparently, he loves T-Bone and considers him his Work Dad. Ouch. Anyway, the message was asking about an event they had on Friday that Rudy From Work missed. I thought, I don’t want him to think T-Bone is ignoring his message, surely I can figure out how to respond. Yeah. No.
First of all, it was not my phone, so I could hardly open or activate it, let alone find any kind of menu button. Next, it doesn’t have a keyboard that shoots out anywhere, so I had to find everything on the number buttons. Finally, I had to compose and re-compose the message in my head several times because, sometimes, I tend to be a little long-winded. Ahem.
Anywho, here’s what happened:
RFW: How was the event yesterday?
LT: Okay, I’ll start with “Rudy.” Now where are the punctuation buttons? Should I put a dash or a period? Maybe an exclamation point? How do I capitalize? Wait, what’s this button? Shit! All I sent was “Rudy.”
RFW: Is that a question?
LT: Dangit! Okay, starting over. “Sorr…”
RFW: And yes, it’s Rudy.
RFW: I can’t believe I’m gone for a few days, and you’ve already forgotten who I am.
By that point, with all the rapid fire buzzing and chirping, I was so flustered and laughing so hard, I was a crying mess in a heap on the floor. With Peach and Olive standing over me, surely considering if they should implement their 911 phone training. A few seconds later, T-Bone’s phone rang – how novel is that?! – and yes, it was Rudy From Work calling. I had to pull myself together to answer, and I know I confused, and probably frightened, the hell out of him as I explained the situation. He laughed and was very sweet, but his first impression of Work Dad’s old lady is probably not the greatest, I’m thinking.
So there you have it, children. Tune in next time for “Reasons Why I Hate Facebook.”
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