Just Where Exactly IS The Love?

Well, it's the day after Valentine's Day AND my two year Bloggiversary(?), so I thought I'd do something extra special and bring back some old friends. Clearly, this nude woman-child needs our help, as is evident throughout Book 5 in this series, but because posting ANY pictures on Blogger is such an exercise in futility, and the spacing bugs very nearly drive me to the brink of insanity, I plucked out just a few examples. Presenting, a most distorted view of "love," according to butt-nekkid baby people from the 70s:

Shocker.

And Hustler, but ONLY if he's "The One."

Yes, nothing says romance like a nice little grope, right?

I know there's a "package" joke in here somewhere.

Truly, I just threw up in my mouth.

While picturing her naked. Wait ...

And ever so softly pressing your ... well, you get the idea.

So what's your diagnosis? Can this poor wretch be helped? Or is she destined to fall head-long into the disco scene and end up broke and thrice-divorced by the mid-80s and working hard for the money in a throwdown coffee shop? Once she kicks her coke habit, of course.