Hello, Lover. I've Missed You.

I love to read. I was an early reader and had a bookshelf brimming with books to choose from. I still have my first library card and can close my eyes right now and smell the stacks of the Westfall Branch of the SAPL from back in the day. I even wanted to be a librarian when I grew up - I loved those due date rubber stamps, the wooden card catalog, and just the perfect order of it all! Heavenly!

Flash forward to the college years, and my pleasure reading took a backseat to assigned works like the Entire Freaking Canon of Shakespeare (they're not all masterpieces, BTW), Theatre History from The Big Bang to The Great White Way (like, a shitload of history), and any number of post-war piece of crap plays whose names escape me now but that I was ready to perform in my best Standard English dialect at a moment's notice. Then in law school, reading hundreds of pages a week (even a night, sometimes) left me with precious little time or inclination to read anything non-legal. In fact, I remember quite clearly in my first year fighting sleep while I tried to glean the rule of law from a Vanity Fair interview with Sandra Bullock. Clearly, I was nuts.

Later, after scaring the hell out of myself (and annoying the hell out of T-Bone, though he would never admit it) with every pregnancy and parenting tome I could put my hands on, once Peach was born, my literary focus shifted to children's books, which I adore and would secretly love to write (shhh). Thanks to my obsession and T-Bone's mom's 25 years as a kindergarten teacher, Peach and Olive boast a library that is simply unparalleled, and they, too, love to wile away the hours with a stack of titles of their own choosing. They've had library cards since before they could walk, and of all the amazing things they can do, having them read to me absolutely moves me every time. Happy tears.

All this to say, since I left LawNerds and the hundreds of rancid, not-even-legally-or-historically-relevant-anymore cases I had to read each week, I've been trying to restart my reading habit, or at least extend it beyond the 10 minutes of People magazine I can get through before dozing off. Now, I'm not the speed demon she is, and I sure as hell can't read multiple books at once like she does, mostly because, really, I'm not very smart, and I have a hard time keeping all those characters straight and distinguishing between fantasy and reality, past and present, good twin, evil twin, etc.. So, I started off slow and have now truly rediscovered my love for the books, so much so that I'm on a first-name basis with most of the staff at my neighborhood Half Price Books. Granted, I'm not taking on anything too weighty at this point, mostly chick lit, mostly of the Southern fried variety, but I am enjoying myself and enjoying reading something that doesn't necessarily have to end up with a winner and a loser or a dead body and jail time. I know these characters - I've eaten their decadent desserts, I've seen their beautiful antiques, and I've learned those family secrets when a distant elderly cousin has too much wine at Christmas and brings the celebration to a standstill. I get it! And I love it!

So, I'm back with my old boyfriend, and he's already talking my into things I've never done before. Currently that would be: Attack of The Theatre People by Marc Acito, who I don't know from Adam, but when the blurb says that the main character gets kicked out of drama school in the 80s for being "too jazz hands for Juilliard," how can I resist?

Pot Pour E

• Peach's First Communion was really wonderful, and she truly looked like an angel. We had the whole famdamily over for lunch afterwards, and the party wore on 'til the break-a-dawn. OK, just 'til dusk, but still. It was fun.
• The exterminator, here on his normal quarterly visit last week, knocked on the back door to ask if I would like him to remove the THREE FOOT SNAKE nesting in the potted fern on my porch. Where we sit. All the time. I told him yes, yes I would like him to remove it. Then I shut the door and wet myself.
• I ate lunch with a dear friend from high school on Friday, and we did not stop talking for two hours. I hardly ate anything for fear I would have to actually shut my piehole for a moment. I haven't seen her in about 15 years, and it's so nice to see that she is still the same, still hysterical, despite having weathered a number of bad events in recent years. Love her.
• We ate Mother's Day dinner at the new Chuy's by our house, and, to my extreme displeasure, some wizard had the big idea to take Banditos, and all their green chile, fried cheesy goodness off the GD menu. All I can say is this bullshit better be limited to this location only or Cabezas. Will. Roll.
• Peach had her year-end dance demonstration on Saturday, and Olive had hers on Monday. I now have videotaped evidence of the little demon spawn in Olive's class, in all their hideous glory, and, even though I'd probably get sued, I really think I could win some kind of contest with it. They are that evil.
• I've resorted to applying to a variety of HGTV shows to make my landscaping and remodeling dreams come true because, really, this lottery thing isn't working out so well, and the folderful of paper napkins I've sketched my plans out on is starting to disintegrate.
• The guy in front of me at the gas station today paid $96 to fill up his truck. Holy crap.
• Ten weeks from tomorrow, I'm turning 40. Again with the holiest of crap.

Watch Your GD Mouth

Created by OnePlusYou

This is 243% more than other websites that were tested.

Thanks to that crazy bitch, Mrs. Squirrel, for the link.

And Happy Mutha's Day, y'all ...

MayDay! MayDay!

I'm going down fast, y'all! Help me! The past week, I have been in o-vah-drive, preparing and scurrying about for Abuelita Turista's 90th birthday shindig last weekend, and Peach's First Communion shindig this weekend. Like, my whole family will be here in less than 24 hours. And I've still got cleaning and gardening and teeth gnashing to do. Ay. Dios. Mio.

The big soiree last Saturday was so fun - I haven't seen that many bluehairs in one place since I broke up with Luby's. Abuelita Turista was absolutely the belle of the ball, posing with one foot kicked up every time someone complimented her on her all-white outfit. We took a bunch of family pictures, and the dress code was white, khaki, or a combination of both, so it was easy for the guests to spot us, even though it took a while for some of them to place us ("Are yew tha doctah or tha lawyah?" Well, neither at the moment ...). All of the kids had a ball running through my uncle's garden in their good clothes, and the city secretary stopped by to read a proclamation from the mayor of Small Texas Town, USA, officially declaring Saturday to be Abuelita Turista Day. We ate ourselves silly, and, some of us, sick. Poor Peach must have had one pecan tassy too many because we got to revisit the day's fare at about 1 am Sunday morning. All over her, all over the bed, but not, praise Jeebus, on my cousin's off-white carpet.

This week has been a flurry of final preparation for Peach's First Communion - classes, rehearsals, emails, ice cream cakes, etc.. It's been two years in the making, and what with the party afterward and the veil and all, I really do feel like I've just planned her wedding. Which is what Olive keeps calling it, her "kid wedding." Peach is beyond excited, and it seems her star pupil status holds true in her religious as well as secular education. Her teacher loves her and says she can always count on her to know the answer to everything, including explaining very earnestly to the class that the tabernacle is much like a "holy refrigerator." I'm so happy for her.

Now, some tidbits. My broham has been in Rwanda(?!) on computer business, and he missed Opie's 1st birthday last Thursday. Boo. That little monkey is so adorable, and funny as hell, but he still prefers his mama to his tia. I'm working on it ...

When we were on the road to Abuelita Turista's last Friday, we stopped at Target in Katy so I could pee and get T-Bone some contact solution. And who should I literally run into upon exiting the bathroom? Kady from American Idol! Yeah, I couldn't think of her name either, but I recognized her as the blonde that did the Britney impression all the time. Anywho, small world, right?

Oh, and also? Damnit!!!

Remind Me Again

Because I forget - do I watch Grey's Anatomy? It's been off the air so long, and I pretty much hate everyone on the show except for Bailey, so did I ever like it? I guess if wishing Seattle Grace would spontaneously implode while Miranda and the Chief (okay, and maybe Christina) are out of town at a conference means I like it, then I LOVE it. Seriously. I just thank the network gods that the redhead got that other GD show I'll never watch because I was WAY over her and her squinting-with-pursed-lips-and-jutting-chin style of "acting." Nice range, Red. And don't even get me started on Meredith. Not only do I think Derek should once and for all break up with her, I think he should smother her and her limp mousehair and put us all out of her misery. Just call the show "Bailey Kicks All Kinds of Ass, MD" and be done with it already because I don't have time for this shit anymore.

That said, anything good on tonight?