Tomorrow, we're watching The Stupor Bowl at the Televisions' lovely new abode. As per usual, Mr. Television has all FIVE TV sets warmed up and ready, and Mrs. Television has been busy cooking and staging, while trying to convince herself that the 4' x 4' patch in her new ceiling is only barely discernible to those who actually SAW Mr. TV come ass-first through the attic floor the first week they moved in. We can laugh about it now, but 1100 bucks wasn't so funny at the time. Neither was the 18 foot drop, or so says Mr. TV. Anyway, I told him I was bringing some sheetrock mud and tape, just in case things get out of hand.
My favorite part of The Televisions' Stupor Bowl parties is the most awesome pool Mr. TV put together some years ago. Especially for someone like me, who could give a flying fig about the game, it keeps it interesting. He's got the usual stats and points and all that, but he also throws in categories like, "National Anthem: Over 1:45 min; Under 1:45. Lip Sync; No Lip Sync." One year, I think it was Mariah or some other tart, and he included, "Midriff; No Midriff." I totally guess on the technical stuff, but I'm feeling pretty confident that there will be No Dance after the first TD but there will be a Spike after the last TD. Also, the Head Referee will be wearing an Odd Number Uniform, and The Boss will sing "Born to Run" but not "Glory Days."
And lest you doubt my skillz, I actually won this mutha two years ago, only to be dethroned last year by the youngest Television. I demanded a recount.
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