Mouse Memories

As I prepare for a quick trip to Big D tomorrow, I realize I’ve neglected to tell you about our trip to Mouseland last month. In a nutshell, it was perfect.

Of course, Peach and Olive were totally shocked when we woke them up the morning we were leaving. I think we were all pretty shocked, actually. Later that day, as we were standing in Fantasyland about to ride the carousel for the third time in a row, I had to ask T-Bone, "Are we really here? ‘Cause I’m kind of freaking out." It was such a whirlwind to begin with, and the two hour time change didn’t help, so we were all pretty done that first night by about 6 pm. Besides, we had our extra special hotel rooms to get back to.

When I was confirming our reservation, I found out about some "suites" (really just adjoining rooms) that were themed-out in Mickey or Princess décor. Truly, it looked like the Mouse Store threw up in there. Our Princess room had just two twin beds, for two little sugar lumps who proclaimed the whole thing "magical." Olive was most fascinated with the shampoo and lotion bottles with Mickey ears on them. I told her that if we put those away, the housekeepers would give us more tomorrow. That was all I had to say. She tore through both rooms, gathering up every freebie and giveaway she could find and threw it all into a drawer in her Princess nightstand. Every time we walked in that room, she would say, "Did they bring us more bottles?" She would even ask first thing in the morning and I had to tell her, "No, my love. They did not come in IN THE NIGHT and bring us more bottles." All told we had about 40 lbs of toiletries, stationary, and laundry bags to lug home with us. It was like she was on a mission. I can’t imagine where she gets it.

As for the park, it was a tad bit more crowded than we’re used to, but we went two weeks later than usual, and it was an Annual Passholder weekend, which brought out lots of locals. Like, LOTS of locals. Almost all wearing varying shades of black, with at least 17 people in their group and at least one stroller, covered with blankets. It was coldish at night, and what a killing I could have made if I was in the Cheap-Fleece-Blankets-With-Bootleg-Characters-On-Them Trade. DAMN, y’all! All I’m saying is I’m pretty sure that one with Donald peeing on Mickey (a la Calvin and Hobbes) was not Official Mouse Merchandise.

Mouseland overall is much smaller than Mouseworld, so it tends to get congested in spots pretty quickly, especially after a parade or fireworks. Which causes all kinds-of Un-Mouselike behavior in some, like the beastly woman who was trying to swim upstream to get to the Fried Shit-on-a-Stick Shack after the Holiday Parade. When she was met with 50 bajillion people all going the other way, she just stopped and screamed, "God Dammit!" I half-expected the Mouse Police to appear and haul her off to Mouse Jail for Behavior Unbecoming to the Happiest Place on Earth. Other than that, we had a wonderful time. We did everything we wanted to do, at least twice, and Peach and Olive both told us thank you, repeatedly and voluntarily, at every turn. You should go sometime. Really.

Also, we saw Dennis Franz eating a hot dog in Tomorrow Land, and we waited in line for California Screamin' right next to Kurt Russell. The End.