When It Rains, It Pours

And I'm not talking about these little BS 10-minute "storms" we've been having the past few days. By the way, they have a word for girls like you, Mutha Nature, and it rhymes with "trick pease." I'm just saying.

No, I'm talking about the outpouring of moo-lah that's been happening around here lately. First, there was the many hundreds of dollars check I wrote for Olive's dental surgery tomorrow (continue reading as I freak right the eff out about that). Then there was the several hundreds of dollars check I wrote Super Handyman for all the work he's still in the process of doing because the friggin' "rain" keeps slowing things down. Again, thanks a heap MN. Ya bitch. Finally, there was the several hundreds of dollars check I wrote today for new glasses since I mothereffin' BROKE mine yesterday. Straight across the bridge. I was talking to Super Handyman outside when another "deluge" started, so I took my glasses off to dry them, and they totally fell apart in my hands. And I swear it sounded just like, "at least 300 bucks" when they broke. The problem is, I have no backup glasses (and only two pairs of contacts left, which I loathe), unless you count the ones from three prescriptions ago, which I tried to wear while I continued ninja-cleaning the house, only to aggravate my already throbbing headache. Then I tried the old tape job on the broken ones, and the perspective was so messed up after a while that I truly almost puked. I gave up and donned my prescription sunglasses for the rest of the evening, wearing them straight through until I laid my wee head down around 1 am. I am just that awesome.

So now I have some nifty new frames, but I can hardly celebrate because I'm consumed with worry about Olive's surgery. She was the lucky recipient of my tooth anatomy, so her molars have very deep crevices in them and are hard to keep clean. I had mine sealed when I was about 7 or so, but she is getting a cavity in one of them, so we have to fill it and seal them all now. Because she's not a big fan of the dentist, or shots, or pain in general, and because I only want to have to do this once, the dentist recommended we do the procedure in the hospital, under general anesthesia. To say I'm freaked out is putting it mildly. I'm okay with the dental stuff, it's just when they say things like "IV" and "intubate" and "at least 60 minutes" that I want to throw up. I've been assured by many medical and dental professional friends, including my cousin, The Dentist, who is truly the smartest person on the planet, that it is very routine and will all go swimmingly, but I would by lying if I said I'm completely convinced. I don't particularly want her to have a mouthful of cavities or abscessed teeth or holes in her head, but I just wish we could do this another way. Or not at all. That works, too.

Anyway, if you think about it, we could use some good thoughts, vibrations, or whatever else you can spare at 6 am tomorrow. Thanks.