The mall where this kiddo picture place is located is one of basically two malls in Austin proper, and it's about half the size of the other, newer mall. Ye Olde Mall used to be quite happening, and we would even drive up here from San Antonio just to shop at the swanky department store that used to be there. I bought some bitchin' clothes for RUSH (as in Greek, not Geddy Lee), if that tells you anything. But, alas, Ye Olde Mall ain't what it used to be, and in the past few years, it has gotten downright scary. Stores are closing left and right, and random, cheap replacements no one has ever heard of are filling in the gaps. There are large packs of people roaming around, but no one seems to be actually, you know, buying anything. Except for at the food court, of course, which is a smelly, noisy, neon nightmare in its own right.
So, to illustrate, just in my quick jaunt to Ye Olde Mall today for Peach's birthday picture, she in her crisp taffeta Christmas dress from last year, Mary Janes, and a bigass bow in her hair, here is what we encountered:
- A mom carrying a diaper-clad 3 month old and pushing a stroller full of bags as she SCREAMED into her cell phone headset about somebody's bad weave. At first, I thought she was talking to me, or no one, but then I saw the Blue Tooth thingy. Oh, and she was nursing said baby as she walked and screamed.
- A guy screaming into his cell phone, in Spanish, something about he didn't mean to be talking to this other guy's old lady, he didn't know who she was, she was the one talking to him, he was just hanging with his homies, etc.. Lots of "Lo siento! Lo siento!" That dude is so screwed.
- Two undercover security guards rolling up on this lady in the accessory department (I've decided that I can no longer pass off the diaper bag as an actual purse) and asking her to empty her various shopping bags and produce receipts for everything. Recognizing this very scenario from a criminal law exam question, I felt a twinge of duty to inform the poor gal of her legal rights, but when she immediately mouthed off to the rent-a-cops, I figured she'd played this game before and would either talk her way out of trouble or into jail OR just drop the shit and run like hell. So, we left.
- A car in the front row of the parking lot with a middle-aged couple sitting in it, and as we passed the car, they got out - as did a HUGE cloud of pot smoke, a la Cheech and Chong. Thank God Peach was upwind.
- A family of six or so going into the mall, with the 1o year old daughter wearing a beDazzled t-shirt that said, "Hi! I'm the Shit!"
I just can't wait til Olive's birthday in October.
3 comments:
I'm taking my camera and going to sit in that mall for an hour tomorrow. That sounds freakin' AWESOME!
Hey! My word ver. is yarkad. That's a great thing to call someone. Like people who allow their 10 year-old to wear a bedazzled shirt that says, "Hi! I'm the shit."
Yes! If I'm ever in Austin, this sounds like the place for me! All class, all the time!
What a blast! I cringe at little girls wearing sweatpants with "Juicy" or someother statement across the arse, but the "Hi! I'm the shit" really takes the case! I think it should have said, "Hi! I receive no adult supervision!"
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