Parents of the Year

I ran into them last night, and apparently, this year's competition was so fierce, it ended in a tie between two couples. Who seem to be related or best friends or homies or something because all four of them were sitting RIGHT BEHIND me at the movies last night with their SIX children, all under the age of 3. And homegirl was pregnant with lucky number 7.

Did I mention we went to see Knocked Up? Which is rated R? And which has a ridiculous amount of F-bombs, gratuitous nudity, and lots and lots of drugs? And which, by the by, I totally hated? But it's such an obvious choice for your toddlers on a Sunday night, right?

They talked the whole time, except when they were taking turns pushing the double stroller overflowing with babies up and down the aisle. They yelled and cussed at the screen and had a steady stream of crap they were force feeding the children in order to keep them kinda quiet, which they were, surprisingly. And just when I thought the punchline to the whole evening was when one of the supermoms leaned over to her 3 year old and said, "Don't smoke weed," her old man took the prize when I saw him in the lobby playing video games with his 2 year old afterward with a giant, burnt orange "Fuck y'all, I'm from Texas" t-shirt* on.

Congratulations, jackasses.

* Yes, KM, I know my old beau had a t-shirt with a similar message on it, but his was black, and the words were on the back, and he was in a band. He was not a sorry excuse for a parent trying to pass off some bootleg crap as official NCAA-approved Longhorn gear, which is near sinful in and of itself.