That's supposedly my Rollergirl name, as generated here. I much prefer the name I came up with: Mama Zooma's Revenge, Zooma* for short. I truly feel I was born to be a PDF, but, much like Malcontent Mama, I would look like one giant bruise on wheels. Once when I was staying with my grandmother for the summer, she took me to the doctor for a complete round of blood work because she was convinced I had leukemia. Another time, my gynecologist was ready to file a domestic violence report until I convinced her the 30 odd bruises on my arms and upper thighs were from moving into my new apartment. And once I showed up at church Easter Sunday with a huge shiner, courtesy of Peach and her lack of control of her baby noggin, and poor T-Bone had to endure the stares and quiet mutterings of the entire Altar Guild and the overly aggressive grip of the big cowboy next to him during the Lord's Prayer.
So, while I am nearly two weeks into my severance deal, and I have no leads or real inspiration regarding the career issue, I may have to give up my dream of the Derby before it begins. That said, I will kick the ass of any bitch who steals my awesome moniker. Putas por vida!!!
* No joke. I saved this as a draft this morning, and guess what the word of the day is on Peach's Cranium Kids' Club calendar? ZOOMA. Total sign.
So, while I am nearly two weeks into my severance deal, and I have no leads or real inspiration regarding the career issue, I may have to give up my dream of the Derby before it begins. That said, I will kick the ass of any bitch who steals my awesome moniker. Putas por vida!!!
* No joke. I saved this as a draft this morning, and guess what the word of the day is on Peach's Cranium Kids' Club calendar? ZOOMA. Total sign.
4 comments:
Rhoda Rage here. And I've got your back.
Obviously your name chose you.
LYLAS, Jenny Rotten
Dude! Here's my big, exciting celebrity sighting: I was stuck on Mopac during rush hour and spied an old Taurus Station Wagon with a TXRD sticker (and featured in an episode a ways back). It was Punky's roommate looking like she was schleeping her laundry and looking really haggard. Poor thing, last night she was on national TV and the next day you are stuck having a lame ass Mom in a mini-van staring at you in traffic. Highlight of my rather pathetic day.
Glad to know that I'm not alone with my bruises.
urg, i hate my name. 'jeanie action'. lame. lame lame. i like rhoda rage better.
but i bruise easy, too, especially on my thighs. to the point that i also got taken to the doc, who said i was slightly aneamic and to eat more potassium. didn't work.
i'm just a southern peach, what can we say.....
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