Hi. I'm Adorable.

But Lawsy, I stink to high heaven. Vampires, be gone! And eat your heart out, my new favorite magazine.

I had every intention of getting a few last things planted this weekend, but that's about as far as I got, as I was otherwise engaged ...

Speaking of the most edible nephew in the history of the world, meet Opie.

But Thinking Makes My Head Hurt

The lovely Law Mommy has bestowed upon me a Thinking Blogger Award. In this case, consider those terms VERY loosely. Anywho, now I am to give awards to five bloggers who make me think - which is not easy, by the way, because I'm kinda lazy like that.

First off, if she hadn't already been recognized, I totally would have chosen Law Mommy. She writes with total candor and good humor about creating and managing her precious family, and I have enjoyed being along for her ride around the world. That said, in no particular, except alphabetical, order, are Five Blogs That Make Me Think:

1. Badger - If you're not already one of her many, many fans, buckle up, dude. She has made me think of many things the past year, including food, wine, books, vodka, kids, boobs, IKEA, and Friday Night Lights. She rocks.
2. Hollow Squirrel - This gal actually MAKES me think, literally, what with all her questions, queries, and quadrants. She also has great work stories, hubby stories, and JoJo stories. And she's hilarious.
3. Karla May - She's the nutcake who got me into this whole blogging mess to begin with, practically dared me even. But I've always been a fan of her writing, and her posts truly do make me think - mostly "How have I known this person nearly 20 years and never known what a freak she is?"
4. Trent - I know, I know. He's never gonna see this. He's busy doctoring up pictures and fawning over Tori Amos and Kylie Minogue. Enough already. But he has entertained me and made me think - mostly "What is it exactly that Nicole Richie does?"
5. Jennifer - This gal's dedication and total commitment to veganism amaze me. Not enough to give up the cheese, of course. But I've learned a lot about food, and she's got great pictures. And I think she may be almost as anal retentive as I am. Almost.

So that's it. That's The List. Check these folks out if you don't already. But just promise you'll come back home to mama when you're done. All three of you.

And let me add a quick shout out to my girl, T - it's your berfday, it's your berfday ... Have a good one! Peace!

Tia Turista Esta En La Casa!

After 22 hours of labor, and one tiny hit of Demerol, my SIL gave birth to my nephew this morning. Bless her heart. I was at the hospital with her yesterday, hoping our little cowpoke would show before I had to pick up Peach from school, but he apparently had other plans until about 4 am this morning. The little stinker.

According to my brother, the labor was "very painful" - really?! - and the baby has a really cute forehead. Hmmm. He tipped the scales at 8.5 lbs and stretched out to 21 inches long. We grow 'em big around here. Peach and Olive are so excited to meet their new "brutha cuzzin," I'm sure we'll be making a trip to see him this week. I canNOT believe my brother is a dad ...

You've Made Your Bed ...

I love making the bed. Not that I jump up every morning just to turn around and make it - I enjoy the sleep too much and usually wait until the last possible second to get up. But I at least "spread" the bed - you know, half-ass it by straightening the pillows and pulling the covers back up to the top, thus making it seem, to the untrained eye, that the bed is actually "made."

I come by this simple pleasure honestly as I'm part of a long line of proud bedmakers. When I'm around my grandmother, she practically DARES me to try and get all the beds made before she does, and we usually end up making some of them together. We could do a Hallmark commercial, it's all so damn adorable. I've learned lots of little secrets to making the perfect bed, and I really think if I was a soldier or a prisoner, I could get a medal or time off my sentence for my awesome hospital corners.

I know (I know!) I'm obsessive, but it still really surprises me how many people have no idea how to make a bed. My mom's cousin recently bought his first house, and he asked her to help him pick out some furniture. They bought some linens, and she actually had to walk him through making the new bed, step-by-increasingly-painful-step. Like, she had to repeatedly explain the difference between the flat sheet and the fitted sheet. And that you put the mattress protector on BEFORE you put the sheets on. He's 55. And educated. Supposedly. But he's living alone for the first time EVER, and he's just now getting around to learning the ins-and-outs of housekeeping. Jeebus, dude.

I was recently helping a girl organize her big ass house - a job that could take me the rest of my natural life, by the by - and as I passed her open and overflowing linen closet for the umpteenth time, I decided I couldn't stand it any longer. Action had to be taken. Once I 86ed the faded and the holey, we were left with two or three sets for each bed. Instead of cramming everything back in there, as seemed to be the current system, I came up with the novel idea of FOLDING each sheet and pillowcase before putting them away. She stood there, mouth agape as I made quick work of it, and here's what followed:

Girl: Ya know, I don't know how you do that.
LT: Well, it's basically corner to corner, over and over.
G: Yeah, I just never learned how you do that.
LT: !
G: And what do you do about king size sheets? My arms are too short to fold those.
LT: !!!
G: And how do you keep them from getting so wrinkled? What kind do you buy?
LT: (WTF?) It helps if you fold them. And with the big sheets, try laying them on the bed or a table to fold them. Like this (enviable) built-in folding table you have here in your (ginormous) laundry room (armslength away from your linen closet). The table you have the (nasty, stanky) bird cage (for a bird that died before you moved in here) and (lifetime supply of off-brand) maxipads on.
G: Is THAT what that is? I always wondered what that was for. I should tell my maid.

Yeah, you get right on that, genius. I'm going to bed.

Shut It.

Your Mouth is a Little Big

You're not a total tell all, but you don't hide who you are either.You've struck a good balance between discretion and sharing.People know you fairly well, at least on a superficial level.But you save your most revealing secrets for your best friend... or no one!

Do You Have a Big Mouth?