What I Did on My Summer Vacation(s)

Summertime always puts me in a reflective mood, maybe because I add another candle to the cake in July, and I find myself thinking of summers past. For the last 20 years, it seems I spent a good number of summers doing one of my favorite activities - MOVING. How did I manage to time the majority of my many moves during the months of June and August? In Texas? Between the sweating and my knack for bruising, I would have made out better if someone had just backed the moving truck over me a couple of times.

The College Years break down like this:

August 86 - May 87 - Dorm
Summer 87 - Home
August 87 - May 88 - 1st Apartment
Summer 88 - Camp
August 88 - May 89 - 2nd Apartment
1st Half Summer 89 - Camp
2nd Half Summer 89 - 3rd Apartment
August 89 - May 90 - Sorority House (yes, you read that right)
Summer 90 - 4th Apartment
August 90 - May 91 - 5th Apartment
June 91 - August 94 - 6th Apartment with the lovely Karla May

For those of you keeping score, that's 8 different Austin addresses in as many years, and I lived at one of those addresses for 3 years. That's a shitload of boxes and packing tape. I can hear that damn tape in my sleep!

In August 94, I moved home for law school, met T-Bone, and in June 97, we moved him into the Best Apartment Ever, where I joined him after the nuptials that December. We were there a year, then moved back to Austin in January 98, where we lived in a duplex about a year and a half before moving into the townhouse we built in May 2000. We were there about four and a half years, after which we moved into an apartment in December 2004, where we camped out for about four months while our house was being built. We moved in here in April 2005, not quite summer, but still damn hot. And the day any boxes get moved from here, I'm going to be in one.

I'm so happy to sit on the couch and sip cool drinks this summer while all those poor bastards are hauling their crap around in stinky trucks in the mind-melting sun. Sucks to be them. However, there is the matter of my 20th high school reunion in August, so I'm sure that little event will leave me sufficiently sweaty and bruised.

I Deserve This

You know the old "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" adage? I'm living it in spades, man, and I'm afraid I can't keep up with my apples. Olive has become a complete vigilante against dust and crumbs, and she patrols the house with wipees and her little broom, telling me not to "fweak" while she battles the fingerprints and cat hair. Which is all the more weird because when we go outside, she loves nothing more than to dig in the dirt and collect rocks. Not to be outdone, Peach recently told me she had to rearrange her dollhouse furniture to give the house "a better flow." What have I done ...

Stairway(s) to Hell

Friday marked the official beginning of summer at Casa de Bone, and I celebrated by breaking my toe after slipping on the stairs. Hooray! Just as we were leaving for a full day of fun at Fiesta Texas. I broke the pinky toe last year, and it has never been the same, but this time it was the fourth toe, which immediately turned black. I hobbled to the car and limped my way through FT for seven hours, only to get back in the car to drive two hours to a cabin on the Frio River my in-laws rented for the weekend. Everyone else was already there when we arrived (9 folks, 1 bathroom, mind you), and we were told we "got" the king-size bed. Upstairs. In the loft. For which there was a 15-step LADDER going straight up that I had to haul my fat ass and throbbing foot up and down all weekend. Oh, and did I mention I that I was so totally nauseated from the broken toe, the amusement park smells, and the car ride that I ate nothing all weekend but a few crackers yesterday afternoon? Yeah - it was great. Luckily, there were enough folks to wrangle the girls that I napped off and on to pass the time until I could come home to my own bed and my own Super Size bottle of Tums. I did rally for some wading at Garner State Park yesterday - Peach emerged from the water with bruises on her legs and scratches on her buns from sliding down the rock slides, and Olive developed a rash from either the sunscreen we used or something freaky in the water that I'd rather not think about. What with the broken toe, I completely spaced and left their toiletries bag at home, so I was without the hydrocortisone cream, Benadryl, and Motrin that might have come in handy on just such an occasion. All I had was diaper cream, so both my angels went to bed last night covered in Butt Paste. It's good to be home.

Vacation BS

It's that time of year, kids! Vacation Bible School registration! I've seen lots of signs around, and it seems that most churches are using the same themed program - that being, "Fiesta!" - so kids all about town will be partying with Jesus this summer. Ahhh, it just takes me back ...

I went to VBS at some holy roller church the summer before 4th or 5th grade. A bunch of kids in my neighborhood were going, even though none of us went to that church, and what I remember most about the whole experience is that we went at night, and we were transported to and fro on The Joy Bus. It was an old school bus all painted up with crosses, hearts, and flowers, and we had to sing Sunday school songs all the way there - most notably, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart ..." The ride was so long, I usually ended up falling asleep on the way there and would wake up disoriented and quite annoyed with all that Joy flying around. Looking back, I really can't believe my parents let us go - At night! To a random church! With me, about 10, in charge of my brother - who was 5! What were they thinking?

The other highlight of the week was when I burned my eyeball while "making potions" in my best friend's mom's bathroom one afternoon, right before The Joy Bus was due to pick us up. I sprayed either the potion or some perfume right in my eye, and it was stinging and weepy for the rest of the week. I had a tissue permanently affixed to soak up all the tears and gunk. I got so used to the tissue that I forgot it was there, and I even had it on there when we performed our Passion Play at the end of the week. Our "costumes" were painted plywood with holes cut out for our faces, and somehow I managed to hold that thing up with one hand and the tissue on the eye with the other. As I delivered my lines, you could hear people in the audience whispering, "I didn't know Pontius Pilate wore an eyepatch."

Happy Baby Mama Day

A little late, I know, but we had a busy weekend with my family in town. Poor little Peach got sick on Saturday, but she rallied for her spring dance show on Sunday and pressed on for her last Monday of school today. Kindergarten graduation is on Wednesday, hence the house guests, and we're taking the whole crew to Fiesta Texas on Friday. To be followed by a weekend with the in-laws in a cabin somewhere on the Frio. Nine of us. One bathroom. Should be fun.