I'll Be Here All Week

Apparently, we have a jokester in residence at Casa de Bone - Olive the Toddler Comic. She even writes her own material:

O: Knock knock.
LT: Who's there?
O: Baby banana.
LT: Baby b ...
O: (interrupting) Baby banana who! Peel me! Peel me! HAHAHA! (Pause) Clap for me! Clap for me! I take a bow!

This repeats for about 20 minutes, several times a day.

What, Me Worry?

Duh. If I ever STOP worrying about anything and everything, there is something wrong with me. I worry about all the usual things (something happening to the girls, the family, me) and a whole host of the less usual things (if this bridge I'm driving on collapsed right now, POGO - Pop the seatbelt, Open the door, Get Out). Now, I'm not like paralyzed with fear or anything - I'm really a happy and very blessed person, but I have made myself believe that if I can think through a bad situation to its ultimate and/or most horrible end, then if I am ever in that situation, I will be prepared or, better yet, I can will it not to happen in the first place. Makes sense to me. Somehow, I have been able to hide this neurosis from everyone except those that know me the very best. People tell me all the time, "Peach and Olive are so calm and well-mannered. That's because you and T-Bone are so calm." Huh? Have you met me?

Right now, I have so many worry irons in the worry fire, it's a wonder my worried brain hasn't exploded from overuse. Added to the usual mix, I also worry about finding a job, about possibly having to find care for Olive due to said job, and about where Peach is going to school next year. I worry about the small window of time that I won't be covered by insurance (unless I find a job) before I can be added to T-Bone's. I worry about our cars and the combined 300,000+ miles they have on them and how one car payment would absolutely break the bank, much less two. And I worry that the gigantic knot in my stomach that sent me to the gastroenterologist 3 years ago is back and reigniting my addiction to Smooth Dissolve Tums. Is any of this life and death? No. Am I way better off than most people? Absolutely. That said, being a grown-up bites sometimes.

My Girl Likes to Potty All the Time

Olive has shown great interest lately in potty training. She gets so excited when we tell her we're going to the potty, she tries to pull her diaper and clothes off before we even get to the bathroom. We time it for when we know she probably needs to go (she's not to the "I need to go" stage, but she does ask to sit on the potty - a lot), thereby ensuring maximum success. The first time she went, she was sitting too close to the front of the seat, with her chubby legs squeezed together, so the pee shot straight up and out, like a boy, and I couldn't get her over the surprise of it all and properly positioned before she was finished. The second time, she was in the right spot at just the right time, and when she started going, she yelled, "Mommy! It's working! It's working!" She shakes with excitement, and don't even get me started on the moves she does to the potty song I made up when we were training Peach. It's just a peein', poopin' love fest over here at Casa de Bone.

My Governor is a Jewish Cowboy

I love this country and the fact that we can say whatever we want about whoever we want. I especially love Austin and the fact that many of the people who live here have an overwhelming desire to say many things about many people and plaster their feelings all over their cars. On my daily drive to points north of the river, I am always pleased and entertained by the number of anti-Bush bumper stickers I see. I find this especially humorous since he used to live here. There are so many good ones, it's hard to choose a favorite (what's yours?), but I think one of the originals still says it best: Bush is a Punk Ass Chump. I also giggle every time I see the brilliant anti-Perry sticker: Adios, Mofo.

Which brings me to Kinky's stickers. They're funny AND we laugh for the right reasons. He's taking this campaign as seriously as one can, and he certainly couldn't embarrass us any more than the last two residents of the Mansion. So kick that big-haired Aggie out of office, and let One Tough Grandma (T-Bone's boss, by the way) move on to bigger and better things. Head here to find out where you can sign the petition to get Kinky on the ballot.

Freebird! Part III

The final installment, plus a bonus category ...

3 most disappointing live shows you ever saw

1. REM - Southpark Meadows - Austin, Texas

The usual magic did not translate across the wide open spaces.

2. The Butthole Surfers - Austin Music Hall - Austin, Texas

Too loud. Too stupid (even by BHS standards). I left when Gibby pulled out the friggin' bullhorn.

3. Depeche Mode - Erwin Center - Austin, Texas

It was 1988. I think OMD opened. It was horrible. I was an idiot.

3 bands that you wish you’d seen live

1. The King - I loves me some E. Young, old, skinny, fat, Louisiana Hayride, or Vegas. Doesn't matter. I used to have TCB4EAP printed on my checks like it was my license number.

2. Led Zeppelin - I saw Robert Plant in the early 90s, and the man still had a whole lotta love to give. I can only imagine seeing those golden curls and leather pants back in the day, when hard rock was so new and oh so scary.

3. Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble - Living in Austin lo these many years, I feel like I have seen them live, but, alas, I never did. RIP SRV.

First live show you saw (without parents)

I'm not sure, but being born and raised a stone cold Commodores fan, I believe it was a very adult and very contemporary evening with one Mr. Lionel Richie. I was in 9th grade and ready to party "All Night Long."

Last live show you saw

The Biscuit Brothers at the Austin Children's Museum two weeks ago. Before that, ACL Fest in September where I saw Steve Earle, Robert Earl Keen, the Allman Brothers (7 songs in 1 hour, "Whipping Post" was 14 minutes long), and the reunited-because-they-missed-me-so-much Black Crowes. Damn you, Kate Hudson.

Most surprising live show you ever saw and why

Ray Davies - Empire Theatre - San Antonio, Texas

I like the Kinks, but T-Bone is the real fan, and he won tickets to the show off the radio. The show was just Ray and his guitar, and, ala VH1's "Storytellers," he talked about the process of songwriting and his inspiration behind certain songs. He also read from his autobiography in between songs. I didn't know what to expect, and it was just so cool.

Live show I went to that would probably surprise you

Debbie Gibson - Erwin Center - Austin, Texas

I went on a dare, dressed in a baby doll dress, jean jacket, bobby socks and flats, my spiral perm pulled tight in a scrunchy. My friend and I were the only ones who drove ourselves there, and there was a waiting room downstairs for parents who couldn't stand "that GD racket."

As I reflected on my concert experiences, a special category seemed to be warranted for:

3 live shows where I witnessed public nudity

1. Aerosmith - Hemisfair Arena - San Antonio, Texas

The girl sitting next to me bought a shirt and decided to change into it right there. She wasn't wearing a bra.

2. The Rolling Stones - Texas Motor Speedway(!) - Fort Worth, Texas

The guy four rows in front of us kept pulling down his SWEATPANTS to moon Keith Richards. He finally dropped them to his ankles, spread his buttcheeks, and played percussion on "Sympathy for the Devil."

3. Bob Dylan - Erwin Center - Austin, Texas

The girl sitting smack dab in front of me was wearing assless chaps and a thong. We were sitting in floor seats, so unless I stood up when she did, I had a swaying ass in my face. And she had absolutely no sense of rhythm.

Honorable Mention: Fourth of July Freedom Fest - Zilker Park - Austin, Texas

The woman right in front of us kept flashing her tired old boobies while standing on a cooler. And one of the shirtless skinny guys with her had a jailhouse American flag tattoo on his chest that said, "Burn this, mother fucker."